Length: 97 minutes
Director: George Gallo (Trapped in Paradise; Double Take)
Writer: George Gallo (Bad Boys (story); Midnight Run)
Starring: Antonio Banderas, Meg Ryan, Colin Hanks, Selma Blair, Rocco Savastano, Trevor Morgan, Gary Grubbs, Thomas Joseph Adams
Wow, “My Mom’s New Boyfriend”, a dreadfully unfunny and messy action/romantic-comedy was destined to fail right from the get go. The brains behind the project is writer/director George Gallo who’s only legitimate claim to any sort of relevance in film history is his screenplay for “Midnight Run” . Here he shows why and, in case you’re wondering, his other films have included the tired mistaken identity buddy action flick “Double Take” and Eddie Griffin’s “Dysfunktional Family”- is it sad that his only semi-watchable movie was the Nicolas Cage/Dana Carvey/Jon Lovitz Christmas comedy “Trapped in Paradise”? This movie, originally titled "Homeland Security", had numerous problems before and during production. Annette Bening was originally cast in the Meg Ryan role when the plot was supposed to be a thriller (that the studio was comparing to Hitchcock’s classic “To Catch a Thief”- HA!). After it was changed into a romantic-comedy with some action to mix in, Norm MacDonald was hired and then quit (apparently after actually reading the script). What does that leave us? An over the hill and obviously zonked on prescription meds Meg Ryan running around like an escaped mental patient, an embarrassed Antonio Banderas looking like he’d much rather be doing another movie, Colin Hanks poorly ripping off his own father’s charm, and a ridiculous plot that will make even the most forgiving movie go-er throw out a “hey wait a minute…”. When the film opens, Hanks is leaving mom Ryan to go to FBI school or whatever. Ryan has turned into a mess since her husband passed on- she’s wearing a horrendously fake fat suit and doing all the clichéd Kristie Alley “Fat Actress” bits like always having some kind of turkey leg or cupcake in her mouth during all the opening sequences. When Hanks comes home for vacation, he finds that his mom went on a diet and had a good deal of plastic surgery- including one of the most unnoticeable boob jobs in film history. Hanks has also brought home his fiancée, Emily (Selma Blair- the movie’s saving grace and looking hotter than ever. Her lingerie sequence is almost worth renting this movie. I’d you tube it if you can instead), but Mom has been busy herself and has a different man over every night. She also has a stalker (Rocco Savastano) who spends his nights outside her house drunkenly professing his undying love for her. Like every other joke in the movie, that one is run so far into the ground that by the five or sixth time it happens, you wish a truck would just come by and plow down the dumb bastard. This also resorts to a lot of annoying mugging and whining by Hanks, particularly when a guy younger than him (Trevor Morgan) takes his mom out and then home where they loudly make love all night. “That’s my mom!”, he must say about a thousand times in the picture and not once is it funny. The plot then starts to kick into gear when Mom meets the dashing Tommy (Banderas), a fun loving gentleman who “seems too good to be true”, which of course he is. During an emergency FBI meeting that Hanks has fly off to, he learns that Tommy is one of the FBI’s ten most wanted criminals (how an FBI agent wouldn’t know that is beyond me- I guess I don’t know enough about the profession). He is told by his supervisors not to tell anyone- including mom or the fiancée. Don’t worry, no laughs come about due to this and the movie lazily limps along as Hanks and Banderas play mind games and try to one up each other until- gasp!- Banderas actually ends up being a better guy than Hanks thought. If you think I gave away too much of the plot and ruined the movie for you, don’t be mad, I did you a favor. Save your money and rent “Sleepless in Seattle” again. Remember Meg Ryan in a good way, don’t remember her in the “Fat Elvis” kind of way.
Buy the DVD Here (Release Date: 06/17/08)