Length: 88 minutes
Director: Marco Schnabel
Writers: Mike Myers (Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery; Wayne’s World) and Graham Gordy (War Eagle, Arkansas)
Starring: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Ben Kingsley, Stephen Colbert, Romany Malco, Meagan Good, Omid Djalili, Jessica Simpson, Val Kilmer, Mariska Hargitay, Verne Troyer, Kanye West, Jim Gaffigan, Rob Huebel, John Oliver, Rob Blake, Telma Hopkins, Deepak Chopra, Graham Gordy
Remember how funny “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” was the first time you saw it? How “yeah baby!” and “shagadelic” and all those annoying catch phrases hadn’t been imitated by every single male that went to your school (in my case a very southern school- nothing beats hearing a redneck in camouflage doing his best “do I make you horny?” every single day in gym). Then came the next “Austin Powers” and the joke got old fast, but that didn’t stop the third “Austin Powers” where the jokes had become so old and overused they might as well have been Fatty Arbuckle vehicles. That’s what Mike Myer’s latest movie, “The Love Guru”, is like- except the jokes get third “Austin Powers” old ten minutes into the movie and then there’s still another hour and fifteen minutes to go. What happened to Myers? Was I the only one that found “So I Married an Axe Murderer” funny? Ditto both the “Wayne’s World” movies (particularly the massively underrated sequel- weird for Myers)? “Austin Powers” literally ruined the man’s comedic talents. I still stand by the first film as being extremely funny, but the sequels… well, we’ve all ready been down that path in this review. But the point is, Myers believes the multi-million dollar success of the “Powers” and “Shrek” franchises have given him the freedom to do whatever the hell he wants and he seriously believes just because he’s the Mike Myers people will watch it and think it’s funny. How quickly everyone forgets “The Cat in the Hat” fiasco. Here Myers plays a character that wouldn’t fill a six minute “SNL” sketch, yet alone a feature film, named Guru Pitka- a self help guru who is considered the second best in the world compared to some other guru. Pitka dreams of being number one and appearing on the “Oprah Winfrey” show. The only way to do that, apparently, is to reunite a hockey star named Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) with his estranged girlfriend (Meagan Good). The problem is that the girlfriend is involved with rival hockey star, Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake- overdoing it a bit, buddy). There’s also a romantic subplot involving Pitka and Toronto Maple Leafs owner Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba- actually trying her best, but you know she has no one blame but herself- she keeps making these kind of movies- i.e. “Good Luck Chuck”). But let’s get down to what “The Love Guru” is really about- cramming in as many penis and shit jokes as humanly possible in under ninety minutes that won’t force the censors to let the film get an “R” rating. That much the movie accomplishes. If that sounds like the type of movie for you- well you’re dreams have been answered.