I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
Length: 105 minutes
Director: Chris Siverston (The Best of Robbers; All Cheerleaders Die)
Writer: Jeff Hammond
Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Julia Ormond, Spencer Garrett, Brian Geraghty, Brian McNamara, Paula Marshall, Neal McDonough, Colleen Porch, Jessica Rose, Donovan Scott
“I Know Who Killed Me” recently broke the record for most Razzie wins in a single year (winning seven of eight nominations). For those of you unfamiliar with the Razzies- they are the opposite of the Oscars- awarding the worst in the year of cinema. This is a bad movie, make no mistake about it, but I have to say that there were far worse movies in 2007 (Delta Farce? Epic Movie? Good Luck Chuck?). The Razzies are more guilty than the Oscars when it comes to flash and it’s definitely more than likely this movie got all of that attention because of Lindsay Lohan. Lohan, to be fair, probably did deserve the Worst Actress Award (technically she tied herself- she was nominated for both of the roles she plays in the movie). My girlfriend loves her, but I’ve never found her to be a capable actress- save for “Mean Girls” and “The Parent Trap” remake (she got a slide for “Prairie Home Companion” thanks to her supporting cast- they could have made Paris Hilton look good). Here she plays innocent high school senior Aubrey Fleming- an aspiring writer with a horny boyfriend (Brian Geraghty) and sweet, understanding parents (Julia Ormond, Neal McDonough). A local serial killer snatches her up one evening and when Aubrey is found- nearly dead and with a missing arm and leg- she claims she is not Aubrey Fleming, but a stripper named Dakota Moss. The detectives find the DNA doesn’t support her claim, so they blame Aubrey’s new personality on post traumatic stress, but Dakota insists she is not who they say she is. Meanwhile, the killer has found out that his victim has survived and is planning on finishing the job. There’s some twists and turns, but nothing that is going to catch any semi-intelligent viewer off guard. You do have to hand it to director Chris Siverston that he at least tries to mix things up a bit visually. This could have been a lot duller, but he chooses to add some flair to keep the eyes interested even if your brain is taking a hit mentally (particularly regarding the clumsy finale). Despite what the Razzies think, “I Know Who Killed Me” isn’t the worst movie ever, but it sure as hell isn’t a good one. Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that Lohan’s real future lies in starring in made for Lifetime Network movies?