THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE *½ Rating: PG-13 Length: 90 minutes Director: Tom Putnam (Red White Black & Blue; Broadcast 23) Writer: Heidi Ferrer (“Dawson’s Creek”) Starring: Paris Hilton, Christine Lakin, Joel David Moore, Adam Kulbersh, The Greg Wilson, Johann Urb, Kathryn Fiore
Somehow over the past month I’ve managed to watch not one, but two Paris Hilton starring vehicles. The sad part is that this second one, “The Hottie and the Nottie” is an improvement over the first, “Bottoms Up”, but that’s like saying one week old expired milk is better than two week old expired milk. Infamously in and out of the theaters faster than you could say “Blonde Ambition”, the movie all ready has the esteemed pleasure of being #4 on the Internet Movie Database’s Bottom 100 Movies of All Time List. Is it worth that ranking? Of course not. I could think of many, many other movies that are worse than this. It’s a bad film, don’t get me wrong, but you know most of the voters probably gave it the one star mark just because of it’s star (Hilton, to be fair, is extremely wooden and uncharismatic as the lead). The movie is kind of a low budget re-working of “There’s Something About Mary”, but with the “ugly” sidekick bit added in. Joel David Moore gets the Ben Stiller role as failed musician Nate Cooper. Not only is he unsuccessful in his profession, his love life is also a mess. After another nasty break up, he comes to terms with the fact that’s he never gotten over his elementary school crush, Cristabelle Abbott (Hilton). He tracks her down and finds that she is still attached to the hip with her best friend from the elementary days, the repulsive June Phigg (“Step by Step”’s Christine Lakin)- hence the title of the movie. Cristabelle remembers Nate and confesses that she has a crush on him. The problem is she made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t get involved in another relationship until June found one of her own. This leads to a series of unfunny bits where Nate and his best friend (comedian The Greg Wilson- never heard of the guy. Guess he fancies himself important enough to merit a “The” before his name though) try to set up a poor sap (Adam Kulbersh) with June. Naturally as the movie plows along to it’s painful ninety minute mark, Nate starts to realize that maybe June is the real “Hottie” after all. Of course, this doesn’t happen until after she gets a huge make over and a stud boyfriend (Johann Urb). As much as Hilton is an untalented actress, her getting the heat for this being a bad flick isn’t fair. She doesn’t help, but everyone had to know that this one was dead in the water before it even went into production. Yeah, it was in and out of the theaters in a blink of the eye- how it ever got in there to begin with says a lot about the current state of cinema.
This was another music blog, but let's face it- there are enough of those to go around at the moment and the web is becoming a bit too crowded for them (except for the bomb ass ones like "Fight Test", "Fluxblog", etc...). So, I decided to make this a movie review blog where I'll post reviews of the movies I watch. I'll include MP3s from the movie soundtracks to download when I can find them. Keep in mind these are just my OPINIONS, so you could very well love a movie I hate or vice versa- so please, don't bother posting comments on what an idiot I am for not liking a movie you like (or for confusing a slight fact- no need to call someone a dumbass for not knowing a remake was originally Thai and not Japanese. There are some rude people out there) It is pointless and I'd rather you just not come to the site if that's the case. Also, the MP3s posted are to help encourage you to either purchase the soundtrack and/or the individual group or artist's album(s). If you are the owner of any of the songs posted and want them removed- please let me know and it will be done ASAP. Thank you for stopping by!
THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE
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