Monday, April 28, 2008



: PG-13
: 90 minutes
: Tom Putnam (Red White Black & Blue; Broadcast 23)
: Heidi Ferrer (“Dawson’s Creek”)
: Paris Hilton, Christine Lakin, Joel David Moore, Adam Kulbersh, The Greg Wilson, Johann Urb, Kathryn Fiore

Somehow over the past month I’ve managed to watch not one, but two Paris Hilton starring vehicles. The sad part is that this second one, “The Hottie and the Nottie” is an improvement over the first, “Bottoms Up”, but that’s like saying one week old expired milk is better than two week old expired milk. Infamously in and out of the theaters faster than you could say “Blonde Ambition”, the movie all ready has the esteemed pleasure of being #4 on the Internet Movie Database’s Bottom 100 Movies of All Time List. Is it worth that ranking? Of course not. I could think of many, many other movies that are worse than this. It’s a bad film, don’t get me wrong, but you know most of the voters probably gave it the one star mark just because of it’s star (Hilton, to be fair, is extremely wooden and uncharismatic as the lead). The movie is kind of a low budget re-working of “There’s Something About Mary”, but with the “ugly” sidekick bit added in. Joel David Moore gets the Ben Stiller role as failed musician Nate Cooper. Not only is he unsuccessful in his profession, his love life is also a mess. After another nasty break up, he comes to terms with the fact that’s he never gotten over his elementary school crush, Cristabelle Abbott (Hilton). He tracks her down and finds that she is still attached to the hip with her best friend from the elementary days, the repulsive June Phigg (“Step by Step”’s Christine Lakin)- hence the title of the movie. Cristabelle remembers Nate and confesses that she has a crush on him. The problem is she made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t get involved in another relationship until June found one of her own. This leads to a series of unfunny bits where Nate and his best friend (comedian The Greg Wilson- never heard of the guy. Guess he fancies himself important enough to merit a “The” before his name though) try to set up a poor sap (Adam Kulbersh) with June. Naturally as the movie plows along to it’s painful ninety minute mark, Nate starts to realize that maybe June is the real “Hottie” after all. Of course, this doesn’t happen until after she gets a huge make over and a stud boyfriend (Johann Urb). As much as Hilton is an untalented actress, her getting the heat for this being a bad flick isn’t fair. She doesn’t help, but everyone had to know that this one was dead in the water before it even went into production. Yeah, it was in and out of the theaters in a blink of the eye- how it ever got in there to begin with says a lot about the current state of cinema.

Download Soundtrack MP3s (Right click and “Save As”):
Castaneda- Cyanide
The Skies of America- She’s That Kind of Girl

Pre-Order the DVD Here (Release Date: 05/06/08)


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